Annie 8.14.08

Dear Annie: My co-workers and I are experiencing a very awkward situation. I work for a large company. My department consists of a dozen employees and one female supervisor (I am her assistant). About eight months ago, a supervisor for another department (male) was hired. Our departments have to work together, but these two supervisors seem to be carrying it to another level. They are always together and, if not in the same room, they are on the telephone whispering and giggling. My supervisor is married. The other one is divorced. At first, I thought my uneasiness was due to jealousy because my supervisor and I had become good friends and often spent time together socially. Now I’m not so sure. Snide remarks are circulating among the staff, although no one has actually confronted them. The situation puts us all in an awkward and uncomfortable position, and sometimes things get tense in the office. I have never told anyone that I happened to see them together (after hours) at a restaurant, an art gallery and a grocery store. I am fond of both my supervisor and her husband and feel as though I should say something, but what? I love this job and my co-workers, but the atmosphere is really getting to me. — Bewildered Assistant Dear Bewildered: Your supervisor and her friend may run the risk of being fired if their relationship goes further. You have no evidence of misbehavior, but she should be made aware of the rumors. Tell her you value the friendship and thought she should know what’s being said and that the relationship is creating a difficult work environment. Beyond that, please stay out of it. Dear Annie: I have a problem with my next-door neighbor. He is a retired man, very religious, and when he talks to me, he’s forever adjusting his you-know-what. It is so embarrassing that I don’t even want to say hello to him. He is 62 and has a lovely wife. I am in my 80s. Do you suppose he has a medical problem? Or does he think he’s giving me a thrill? How can I let him know his actions are repulsive? — Not Interested in the Stud Dear Not Interested: For the sake of being a good neighbor, you should assume he has a medical problem. The next time this happens, say with a straight face and great concern, “You ought to have that checked. It could be serious.” Or you can tell his wife that you are worried about the constant scratching and he should see his doctor. Since you are only discussing his health, the mortification will be minimal. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Old, Stupid and Tired,” who is still supporting her son and his family. I am 18 and my sister, married with two children, is seven years older. I love her family dearly, but they still live with my parents. I’m used to a bustling home, but this drama has been going on for over six years. I feel cheated of what should have been special time with my parents, and I have no privacy. Instead, our house is overrun with my sister’s children and pets. Since neither she nor her husband work, my parents’ income must stretch over seven people. When I was 16, I got a job to ease the burden on my parents, and I have endeavored to be self-sufficient ever since, unlike my greedy and spoiled sister who takes whatever handout she can get. I am going to a local university soon, mainly because it will cost less. I resent my sister and brother-in-law for putting so much strain on our family budget that it influenced my choice of college, and it certainly has damaged our relationship. — Fed Up in Florida Dear Fed Up: It’s unfortunate that your parents don’t realize they are hurting your sister’s future by supporting her now, with the added bonus that they have alienated you. Hang in there. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. Published in The Messenger 8.13.08

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