Life lessons at the spa

I’m a low maintenance woman. I love shopping at stores with the word “dollar” in the name. I don’t require $5 cups of coffee, designer purses or expensive meals. But last week I got the chance to live in the lap of luxury. While in Texas on a speaking trip, a friend said quite simply, “Lisa, I have an appointment for us at the spa on Saturday. It’ll be fun!” Knowing I had a tendency toward frugality, she added, “I have a gift certificate. It won’t cost you a thing!”
The fancy spa was nothing like the dollar store. No screaming children. No loud banter. The aroma of lemons and lavender wafted through the air of the pristine waiting area. The entire staff talked in “hushed” tones so as to make the atmosphere more conducive to them taking all your money and not feeling bad about it. The lighting was dim and the furniture lovely. But the serenity ended when they handed me a form to fill out which was longer than forms I’ve filled out before major surgery. There was the standard medical history and then the “personal” questions: “Do you have crow’s feet?” “Problem wrinkles?” “Do you have cellulite? If so, how long have you had cellulite?” “Furrows around the brow line?” “Do you have sagging on your body? If so, where does the sagging occur?”
But the very last question on the form was the one that would remain in my mind forever. “What things about your face or body would you like to change?” Several lines were provided for the answer.
When my “spa specialist” escorted me to my private spa room, she read the form silently. I guess it was to make sure I wasn’t allergic to the expensive cucumber facial crème she was about to apply to my face. Then she said with amazement, “Oh my! This is your FIRST facial? You mean you’ve never had a facial?” “No.” “Well then, let’s get started. We’re probably looking at a lot of damage, dry skin cells, clogged pores.”
She looked like she had just found out I had a horrible disease. I wanted to tell her that she needed to stop wrinkling her brow with judgment and worry or she’d get more wrinkles. But I kept quiet. 
As she applied the facial crème and hot steam, she explained about the other services available. Scalp treatment. Body bronzing. Lactic peels. Lypossage. Yes. You read right. Lypossage. Lypossage is a new treatment for those pesky body bulges. In 18 treatments and for a mere $1,400, they can squeeze, mash and beat your cellulite and bulges into submission. I’m dead serious. She confessed it’s a bit painful but that the results are amazing. I told her I would pass on having my cellulite mashed and that this conversation was proof positive that people have more money than sense. She laughed out loud and said, “Incidentally, I have NEVER seen anyone write what you wrote on THAT question!!” I knew what question she was referring to: “What things about your face or body would you like to change?” My response was simple. “Nothing. I’m happy and content with what I have.” I smiled as I left the spa that day. Not because my pores had been unclogged or my crow’s feet had been lessened. I smiled because I knew that in the overall scheme of life ... it didn’t matter.
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Editor’s note: Lisa Smartt’s column appears each Wednesday in the Friends and Neighbors section of The Messenger. Mrs. Smartt is the wife of Philip Smartt, the University of Tennessee at Martin parks and recreation and forestry professor, and is mother to two boys, Stephen and Jonathan. She is a freelance writer and speaker. Her book “The Smartt View:  Life, Love, and Cluttered Closets” is available at The Messenger, The University of Tennessee at Martin bookstore or by mail for  $10, plus $2 shipping. Send checks to Lisa Smartt, 300 Parrott Road, Dresden TN 38225. She can be reached by e-mail at lisa@lisasmartt.com.
Published in The Messenger 9.17.08

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