Annie 9.19.08

Dear Annie: I am a 28-year-old single female. I just got a promotion and moved closer to my job. I am doing great and even got a raise. I am pretty happy with my life, but I still have this empty feeling. I have been with my employer for eight years, but sometimes wonder how the Air National Guard could open my opportunities.
Right now, I’m terrified of giving up everything I have worked for by joining the military. I know it would be a big change in my life. But I’m trying to think long term and wonder how long I can really stay with the same job I have now.
My current employer would work around my guard duties, so it may not be as risky as I fear. I know I should be satisfied with the way things are now, but I’m not. I am having a hard time choosing the right path. Other than listing the pros and cons (which I’ve already done), can you give me any pointers to help me make a decision? — Undecided in Iowa
Dear Iowa: First, please understand that you could be deployed. If you go into military service expecting a weekend job, you may be surprised. There are other ways to expand your employment opportunities. However, being in the military develops leadership qualities that are highly valued in the business world. Beyond that, of course, you seem terribly dissatisfied with your current situation. If, after considering all sides, you still are leaning toward enlisting, do it.
Dear Annie: My 73-year-old husband has become a dirty old man. I do not enjoy going out with him because he constantly stares at other women. I understand that men like to look, but my husband doesn’t simply glance. He stares. He fixes his gaze as if he’s in a trance.
And the women do not have to be pretty — any female will do, particularly their rear ends. We can be sitting behind a woman and if her backside is visible, he ogles it. It’s embarrassing to me because he is quite obvious about it and there’s no doubt other people are aware of what he’s doing. He certainly doesn’t seem to care that he makes me uncomfortable, and I worry that one of these days, a husband or boyfriend is going to confront him.
I work all week and can only imagine what he does when I’m not around. Right now, he is totally smitten with a teenager who works in a local shop, and I’m afraid this girl’s father will have him arrested. I’ve had enough and would appreciate some advice. — Embarrassed Wife
Dear Wife: Your husband should get a complete checkup, and you can alert the doctor to the problem ahead of time. Sometimes uninhibited behavior like this is symptomatic of a small stroke or early dementia. A clean bill of health means you have to decide how much you can tolerate. If he refuses to behave in public, socialize with friends instead, and let him stay home and ogle the neighbors. If he gets arrested, maybe he’ll learn a lesson.
Dear Annie: Your answer to “Porn King’s Wife,” whose husband is sending pornographic videos to co-workers, hit the target but missed the bull’s-eye. You said he could get fired for sending them to his female co-workers. While true, it doesn’t go far enough.
He should stop sending porn to ALL co-workers, male or female. I’m a guy and don’t want that in my inbox. I’d report the man for harassment. What if I opened his e-mail and had it on my screen when my supervisor walked by? I don’t want his porn to cause me to lose my job. — A Male Worker
Dear Male Worker: You are absolutely right. Harassment on the job is not a problem confined to women. This man should knock it off.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger 9.19.08

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