Annie 3.5.09

Dear Annie: I just moved to a very nice community five months ago. The people are so friendly, warm and helpful. My house is located not far from the ocean on a very secluded cul-de-sac. I have a 12-month lease and pay rent monthly.

It has come to my notice in recent weeks that my landlord is exceptionally nosy. I see him around on a regular basis, not doing anything but driving around in circles, especially in the late evenings.

One evening, I was taking out my trash and noticed him leering into the window of the young couple that lives down the block. This is simply wrong, not to mention a total invasion of their privacy. Should I report him to the police? Should I say something to him directly? Or should I just mind my own business?

So far I have caught him doing this four times. He’s sort of creepy. — Elderly Lady in Her 70s

Dear Lady: There’s no way to know if your landlord suspects the couple of doing something illegal or if he’s just trying to catch a glimpse of them having sex.

Do not confront your landlord. Either call the police and report what you saw, allowing them to handle it, or go to the young couple and inform them they ought to close their blinds.

Dear Annie: My daughter, “Annabelle,” is single and will be 50 next month. She is the youngest of my six children, all of whom are happily married with children of their own.

While my other sons and daughters settled down quite early in life, Annabelle did not. She is a trained psychologist, loves her work and is adamant that she enjoys being single. Even though she has always had plenty of male friends, she has said she will never give up her precious freedom for any man.

I do have to admit, even as a child, Annabelle was always fiercely independent, but so were two of my sons who both now have grown children. How can one child out of six choose to be so different? — J.

Dear J.: There are dozens of reasons why some people choose the single life, and one may be that she truly prefers her privacy and enjoys the solitude. Marriage is not for everyone and there is no crime in that. In fact, too many people marry for the wrong reasons and are worse off for it. If Annabelle is happy, please try to be happy for her.

Dear Annie: Awhile ago, you printed a letter from “Dying of Loneliness in Oregon,” a widow who was an only child with distant relatives she had not contacted in ages.

I am a very young-looking 65-year-old widow and an only child. My husband was also an only child. My parents are dead. I have no nieces or nephews, and my aunts and uncles are all dead, except one uncle by marriage who is 97 and lives in another state.

Is there a support group for people who are all alone in the world? Living without family is the most horrible existence there is, especially when your health is not good. Friends are not the same. You still have to go home to an empty house. — Lonely in Michigan

Dear Lonely: Unless family members live with you, it’s still an empty house.

If you’re looking for company on a daily basis, consider moving to a retirement or over-55 living community. Aside from the welcoming communal areas, the available activities will keep you busy and allow you to meet others with similar interests. Also check out AARP (aarp.org or 1-888-OUR-AARP (1-888-687-2277)) and the Red Hat Society (redhatsociety.com). You might not be able to create more family members, but you can make a family out of your friends.

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Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Published in The Messenger 3.5.09

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