Annie 10.31.07

Dear Annie: I am a very successful married father of a wonderful 3-year-old girl. I have a great wife, adorable daughter, good job — everything is going well.
I frequently pick up my daughter at day care and have started talking a lot to “Rosa,” one of the mothers there. My wife and I know Rosa and her husband a little, but from the first time I saw her, something seemed to “spark” and I think she feels the same way. We’ve done nothing but talk when we happen to see each other, but I swear, I think about her all the time.
So what should I do about it? Neither of us is going to leave our marriages, and I’d be too guilt-ridden to have an affair, even if she’d agree. Do we just ride it out? I’m in knots when I think about her. — Confused Dad
Dear Confused: It’s fairly common to develop crushes on other people, and it may happen many times over the years, but if you are married and have a family, you don’t act on those impulses. Don’t flirt. Don’t daydream in anticipation of seeing Rosa. Remind yourself of your great wife and adorable daughter, and do nothing that will jeopardize your marriage. This infatuation will pass if you keep all conversation with Rosa superficial, spend as little time as possible in her vicinity and put the extra energy into your relationship with your wife.
Dear Annie: I am 67 and have done the paperwork to be an organ donor. My children approve of this. However, we were all under the impression that after age 70, they no longer took any organs other than corneas. When I mentioned the possibility of volunteering my body as a medical cadaver should I live beyond age 70, my oldest child expressed extreme disapproval.
I will make whatever arrangements I wish, but it would be nice if the strain of disagreement on this subject could be avoided. It would be nicer-than-nice if I could allow my current arrangement to stand, regardless of how long I live.
Can you tell me if there is currently a cap on the upper age for organ donation or whom to contact to get accurate information? — N.
Dear N.: There is no age limit on being an organ donor, nor does it cost anything to be a donor. (The recipient families pay the cost of organ donation.) All potential donors are evaluated at the time of donation to be sure the organs are healthy enough for transplantation. For more information, you can contact the United Network for Organ Sharing (unos.org), P.O. Box 2484, Richmond, VA 23218, the National Kidney Foundation (kidney.org) at 1-800-622-9010 and Living Bank (livingbank.org) at 1-800-528-2971.
Dear Annie: I’ll put up a crisp Ben Franklin that the grandpa who yelled about the wet towel on the wood floor is a total and absolute jackass in every aspect of his life. A hardwood floor is only that. A relationship with a granddaughter is something to cherish. You are correct that she should write him a letter. However, instead of groveling to the materially obsessed old grump, she should give him a bit of his own medicine and tell him to fold his hardwood floor five ways and sit on it. — Wilmington, N.C.
Dear N.C.: We agree that Grandpa overreacted (and you could be right about his personality), but a 17-year-old girl should not be disrespectful toward other people’s property simply because the relationship is valued. That kind of message says that when people love you, you can treat them poorly. She is old enough to take responsibility for her actions, even (and especially) when they involve her grandparents.
Dear Readers: It’s Halloween today. Be sure to dress your trick-or-treaters in flame-retardant costumes that don’t obstruct walking or vision, and please, parents, walk with them. Be careful. Have fun.
———
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Dear Annie: I am a very successful married father of a wonderful 3-year-old girl. I have a great wife, adorable daughter, good job — everything is going well.
I frequently pick up my daughter at day care and have started talking a lot to “Rosa,” one of the mothers there. My wife and I know Rosa and her husband a little, but from the first time I saw her, something seemed to “spark” and I think she feels the same way. We’ve done nothing but talk when we happen to see each other, but I swear, I think about her all the time.
So what should I do about it? Neither of us is going to leave our marriages, and I’d be too guilt-ridden to have an affair, even if she’d agree. Do we just ride it out? I’m in knots when I think about her. — Confused Dad
Dear Confused: It’s fairly common to develop crushes on other people, and it may happen many times over the years, but if you are married and have a family, you don’t act on those impulses. Don’t flirt. Don’t daydream in anticipation of seeing Rosa. Remind yourself of your great wife and adorable daughter, and do nothing that will jeopardize your marriage. This infatuation will pass if you keep all conversation with Rosa superficial, spend as little time as possible in her vicinity and put the extra energy into your relationship with your wife.
Dear Annie: I am 67 and have done the paperwork to be an organ donor. My children approve of this. However, we were all under the impression that after age 70, they no longer took any organs other than corneas. When I mentioned the possibility of volunteering my body as a medical cadaver should I live beyond age 70, my oldest child expressed extreme disapproval.
I will make whatever arrangements I wish, but it would be nice if the strain of disagreement on this subject could be avoided. It would be nicer-than-nice if I could allow my current arrangement to stand, regardless of how long I live.
Can you tell me if there is currently a cap on the upper age for organ donation or whom to contact to get accurate information? — N.
Dear N.: There is no age limit on being an organ donor, nor does it cost anything to be a donor. (The recipient families pay the cost of organ donation.) All potential donors are evaluated at the time of donation to be sure the organs are healthy enough for transplantation. For more information, you can contact the United Network for Organ Sharing (unos.org), P.O. Box 2484, Richmond, VA 23218, the National Kidney Foundation (kidney.org) at 1-800-622-9010 and Living Bank (livingbank.org) at 1-800-528-2971.
Dear Annie: I’ll put up a crisp Ben Franklin that the grandpa who yelled about the wet towel on the wood floor is a total and absolute jackass in every aspect of his life. A hardwood floor is only that. A relationship with a granddaughter is something to cherish. You are correct that she should write him a letter. However, instead of groveling to the materially obsessed old grump, she should give him a bit of his own medicine and tell him to fold his hardwood floor five ways and sit on it. — Wilmington, N.C.
Dear N.C.: We agree that Grandpa overreacted (and you could be right about his personality), but a 17-year-old girl should not be disrespectful toward other people’s property simply because the relationship is valued. That kind of message says that when people love you, you can treat them poorly. She is old enough to take responsibility for her actions, even (and especially) when they involve her grandparents.
Dear Readers: It’s Halloween today. Be sure to dress your trick-or-treaters in flame-retardant costumes that don’t obstruct walking or vision, and please, parents, walk with them. Be careful. Have fun.
———
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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