Argus Hamilton
Posted: Monday, November 9, 2009 8:01 pm
By: Argus Hamilton
BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody? George W. Bush’s debate with Bill Clinton at Radio City Music Hall in February had to be canceled Friday. What a shame. When George W. Bush saw Rockettes printed on the dressing room door he would have thought he finally found the weapons of mass destruction. President Obama had meetings Monday about what to do in Afghanistan. The White House said something must be done to stop the corruption. They’re sending in two conservative journalists dressed as a pimp and a hooker to take down Hamid Karzai. President Obama won’t travel to Berlin for the anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down. It’s a scheduling conflict. He can’t be in Berlin to mark the fall of the Soviet empire, he’s got to be in China to initiate the fall of the American empire. President Obama’s governor candidates lost in Virginia and New Jersey Tuesday after he’d stumped for them. It strengthens his grip on Capitol Hill. Anybody who doesn’t vote with him can expect him to come to their state and campaign for them. President Obama revealed his daughter Malia got a seventy-three on her science test, then improved to a ninety-five. It’s not easy being a politician’s kid. Next week when he pushes for banking industry reform he’s going to give out her PIN number. Ohio voters legalized casino gambling on Tuesday after years of trying. Everybody is excited about it. Now that the unions and environmentalists have driven all the manufacturing overseas, there’s nothing else to do but roll dice over what’s left. Iranians marked their revolution’s eruption thirty years ago Wednesday. On that day angry students rioted in Teheran, overthrew the Shah and took fifty-two Americans hostage. It’s difficult to describe today the depths to which some people hated disco. The White House ordered the shutting down of the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste site deep inside the mountains in southern Nevada. The cancellation is a huge favor to the Senate Majority Leader. Nuclear power doesn’t contribute to global warming but the president decided it’s more important to save Harry Reid than the Earth. Rhode Island lawmakers banned indoor prostitution Monday. Forty years ago they banned public prostitution and left a loophole for hooking in hotel rooms. It shows that no matter how small your state is you can still take business away from New York. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. He can be reached for speaking engagements by e-mail at argus@argushamilton.com. Published in The Messenger 11.9.09
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Argus Hamilton
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