Stupid new year advice

I know some of you used your holiday free time to clean out closets, write a novel or get in some extra exercise. That’s not exactly how the Smartt family handles time off from school and work. We tend to stay in our pajamas all day and eat peanut butter out of the jar. We chose to live on a country road for the express purpose of walking to the mailbox in our pajamas. (Thankfully, the yard dwarfs and pink flamingos aren’t talking.) On our days off, my husband and I enjoy drinking coffee and watching a few hours of a national morning news show. The last few days there have been a lot of segments on the show concerning New Year’s resolutions. Where do they get these “expert” commentators? They must think the average American is pretty darn stupid.
Obviously, one of the most widespread resolutions involves losing weight. Here’s what I learned from a morning news show regarding weight loss in 2010. The “expert” looked into the camera and with a straight face said, “People should eat more green leafy vegetables and less fatty meats. Most Americans could lose weight if they ate fewer processed carbs.” Really? Is this true? Oh my word! I’ve been going about this all wrong! I’ve been thinking all these years that weight loss would happen immediately if I just ate more slabs of bacon and accelerated my Little Debbie™ cupcake consumption.
Of course, there have been a lot of segments about saving money in 2010. Here’s a revelation for ya. The economic “experts” on the show said you should “think more carefully about where your money goes this year and try to spend less than you make.” I’m SO glad I got up early for that one. Good night, people. My granny could have written that segment in her sleep. 
For those of you who want to get in better physical shape this year, take courage. I’ve been paying close attention to the morning show “experts.” It turns out that you need to get up off the couch and move your body more. I know. Who would have thought? I really believed that surfing the Internet from my big green recliner could prepare me for a marathon by mid-April. My hopes have now been dashed beyond recognition. Someone pass me a slab of bacon.
Let’s cut to the chase, friends. We all know what’s required in order to keep our New Year’s resolutions. It’s not a magic formula that has to be delivered by a celebrity with big hair and expensive shoes. Most of the changes we want to make are not easy. And that’s the problem. We don’t like the idea of giving up a life of ease in order to get something more significant. I know. I share the same struggles. But like you, I’m not giving up hope. Today is a new day.
In case you’re wondering about my own New Year’s resolution, I’ll be more than glad to fill you in. I plan on skipping morning TV shows for a while. I’ve heard enough about what the “experts” think about living. It’s time for me to walk down a country road and start experiencing life firsthand. (I know. Change out of my pajamas first.)
For more information about Lisa Smartt, visit her Web site lisasmartt.com.
Published in The Messenger 1.6.10

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