Our Dresden ‘summer home’

In movies, rich people always talk about where they’re going to “summer.” They say things like, “We’re ‘summering’ in Paris.” Their friend replies smugly, “Paris is so hot in the summer. We’re ‘summering’ at Daddy’s cabin in Vail.” I wanted to let all readers know that, after much deliberation, the Smartt family has decided to “summer” in Dresden. Yes, Dresden, Tenn.
We’ve decided to “summer” in a place that won’t be too crowded. It’s an understated little metropolis that offers the world. What’s that? Why haven’t people from around the world come in droves to “summer” on the outskirts of Dresden, Tenn.? Shhhh. Isn’t it obvious? We’ve managed to keep it quiet. We’ve tried to stay off the radar. Low profile. A concerted effort has been made to maintain our way of life. Good night, people! Rural folks don’t want traffic jams, a Starbucks on every corner and gated communities. I especially don’t want those gated communities that have huge signs like, “Rolling Rivers Rural Retreat ... Homes in the 450’s to 490’s.” We’ve got more sense than that in Dresden. We don’t tell everyone that drives by how much our house cost. And if you want to build a house on our country road that only costs $449,000 ... have at it. You are welcome here. Come to think of it, if you want to build a house on our country road that only costs $49,000 ... have at it. You’re welcome here, too. Yeah. I kinda like that. It’s definitely a walk on the wild side.
Many of you are wondering what kind of activities will be offered to those who choose to “summer” on the outskirts of Dresden. Oh, there is a plethora of opportunity, friend. Let’s start with the educational opportunities. Horticulture lessons will be provided daily as we tend to our tomato garden and peach trees. Some of you were considering going on an African safari because you want to observe wildlife and animal behavior? Save your money. We have the perfect opportunity right here! This summer the Smartt family will be raising 25 chickens, four male cats and two male humans. Along with those animal projects, we will ALSO attempt to keep the deer out of our blueberry bushes, the coons out of our cat food and the possums and foxes out of the chicken house. That means that on an average Tuesday morning a visitor could observe two skinny boys chasing a fat coon from the cat food bowl with a broom handle, a fat woman in an orange housecoat running after deer in the front yard and a man wearing overalls converting the chicken pen into a high security facility ... complete with barb wire on top and security cameras. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but wildlife doesn’t get much “wilder” than that.
I just got off the airplane yesterday from one of America’s biggest cities. A speaking trip took me to a place that was crowded, traffic congested and ridiculously expensive. That’s fine. A nice place to visit. But I’m always proud to live in a small southern rural community. I’m proud of the quiet life we lead. As I tell people in the big cities, “I live in a place where there’s nothin’ to do ... and we sure have a great time doin’ it.”
For more information about Lisa Smartt, visit her website lisasmartt.com.
Published in The Messenger 5.19.10

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