Annie 10.11.10

Dear Annie: My roommate, “Trish,” and I are good friends, and we are both attending the same college. Last spring, her boyfriend spent a lot of time at our apartment. He stayed overnight several times, which made me uncomfortable. I spoke with both of them about it and offered to spend one night a week at my parents’ house so they could have the apartment to themselves. Trish agreed, but her boyfriend didn’t. He continued to hang out at the apartment even when she wasn’t there and liked to walk around in his underwear without a shirt.  
The boyfriend left for the summer and came back two weeks ago. Today, he came by the apartment and lounged in the living room with his shirt up and his pants unzipped. Even after I told him his fly was open, he didn’t fix it.  
He doesn’t respect my roommate or me, and I’m tired of being ignored. Trish is a dear friend, but I’m ready to move out. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so is there any way I can make him listen to me? — No More Patience
Dear No More: No. He has no interest in listening to you, and if Trish has asked him to be more respectful (we doubt it), he doesn’t listen to her, either. Regardless, she permits this, which means she prefers his company to yours. Tell Trish you are so sorry, but the situation has become intolerable and you are moving out. We don’t think she will object too strongly. Find another roommate and another apartment. This one, apparently, is taken.
Dear Annie: On numerous occasions, I have witnessed my 63-year-old father masturbating, usually in the late evening while watching TV on the couch in the basement. There is a large window, and from the outside, you can see him engaging in this behavior. You can also see him from the stairs in my parents’ bungalow, since they are hollow. Meanwhile, my mother is in the kitchen on the top floor, unaware of her husband’s favorite pastime.  
What really bothers me is that my 6-year-old nephew and 2-year-old niece are sleeping one floor above. I am disgusted by my father’s behavior and also concerned. I believe he does this every evening. Should I tell my sister, brother-in-law and mother about my father’s disgraceful and unsettling habit? — Concerned Aunt in Canada  
Dear Aunt: We understand why seeing your father this way bothers you, but his personal habits are his own. The only reasons to be concerned are that he can be seen (although it seems to require some effort), and that there is an extremely slim possibility that young children could catch him in the act. Tell your father, privately, that he needs to cover up or do this elsewhere. It’s no one else’s business.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Tuxless in Bettendorf, La.,” whose father refuses to wear a tux at his daughter’s wedding.  
Back in the 1970s, my dad picked me up at the airport for my brother’s wedding. En route home, he stopped at a bargain store and found a tan polyester suit. The morning of the wedding, Mom held out the tux she had rented, only to hear Dad growl that there was no way he was going to put on that monkey suit. A little while later, he came out of the bedroom in his brand-new polyester suit, which actually looked very nice. The colors even went well with the wedding party.  
On the other hand, the father of the bride showed up in a dark green leisure suit he could barely get into, topped off with an orange tie that was way too short. By comparison, Dad looked debonair.
If compromising on the tux gets Dad down the aisle, it’s worth it. — N.D. Sister of the Groom
Dear Sister: Yes, and the bride will be thrilled Dad isn’t wearing a green leisure suit and orange tie.  
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Published in The Messenger 10.11.10

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