Annie 10.14.10

Dear Annie: I am 26 years old and happily married. We recently moved into our first home, next door to “Tom and Sophie,” a childless 45-year-old couple. My wife likes Sophie, and I enjoyed Tom’s company until he asked me to join him on a fishing trip.  
We rented a single-room cabin for two nights, sharing all expenses. In the middle of the night, I woke up to find Tom’s hands rubbing my body. I pushed him away, offered a few choice words and began packing. He quietly drove us to our respective homes.  
I told my wife about the incident, swearing her to secrecy. I don’t wish to be responsible for problems in Tom’s marriage. However, I find it difficult to continue our relationship. We cannot afford to move to another neighborhood. What should I do? How can our wives continue their friendship with this awkward history? How do I relate to Tom? — Mike in Alabama
Dear Mike: Here’s what you do: Act as if it never happened. Your wife can still maintain a friendship with Sophie, but you should find ways to be busy with other things. Do not encourage get-togethers, but don’t abruptly cut them off. If you gradually back away from socializing, it will seem natural. Avoid any reason to be alone with Tom. He won’t question why, and we suspect his wife won’t, either.
Dear Annie: Last weekend, I stayed at an upscale motel where they serve breakfast in the lobby. After eating, I went to the elevator, and a little boy, perhaps 6 years old, left the table where his father was eating and announced, “I’m going up to Mom.” Dad agreed, and the boy rode up to the third floor with me, chatting the whole time, before getting off on my floor and pounding on a door farther down the hall.  
Annie, this child could have been abducted at any time. The elevator was at the intersection of two hallways and was 10 feet from a stairwell. Anyone could have gotten on that elevator or been in the hallway when he got off.  
I was tempted to say something to the parents, but figured I would be told to mind my own business. Please remind parents that the world is not child friendly and safe, and even the most responsible “big boy” or girl could disappear in a matter of seconds. — Concerned in Texas  
Dear Texas: We appreciate the heads up. Most children are safer than we fear, but still, parents need to be cautious and alert. A motel is filled with strangers, and there are hallways, doorways and empty rooms where kids can be lost — or taken. It is foolish to allow young children to run around unseen and unsupervised in such places, not only because the child can lose his way, but because it presents an opportunity for those with malicious intent. Next time, speak up. Even if the parents tell you to MYOB, they might be more circumspect in the future.
Dear Annie: I strongly disagree with your response to “Modest Mary,” who was uncomfortable when her friend held a conversation stark naked in the women’s locker room at the health club. You said it was “normal.”  
I have been a member of a health club for 20 years, and I have seen only one woman walking around naked. It made me very uncomfortable. I do not view this as normal gym behavior. All of the women I have encountered wear a towel and change in a dressing room. — Debbie from Sarasota, Fla.  
Dear Debbie: Your health club must be more upscale than the ones we frequent, where women change in an open locker room area. While we agree that a towel would be nice, we also think some nudity is to be expected in an all-female changing area, and some women are less inhibited than others.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Published in The Messenger 10.14.10

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