Holiday advice for the rich and famous

The Press 12/16

Philip and I started laughing while watching a morning news show.  I don’t know who chooses their topics, but let me assure you it’s not a small-town rural Southern gal.  Oh no.  The producers titled the segments, “Helpful Holiday Advice” and “Helpful Holiday Etiquette.”  I was all for it!  That is…until I heard it.

According to the show, you need to know what hostess gifts are “in” so that you’ll be prepared for all those holiday parties.  Have you been worried about the hostess gifts?  Worry no more.  The segment had wonderful ideas for “inexpensive” items like $30 serving trays and $25 mail-order cookies in a decorative holiday tin.   Have you ordered your $25 cookies in a decorative holiday tin?  Run to the computer right now before they’re all gone. They also suggested that a $30 coffee cake and a designer bag of coffee beans would work.  These brilliant folks came up with a wonderful hostess gift for LESS than $40.  What happened to giving a dish towel?  Wonders never cease.  

The segment called “Helpful Holiday Etiquette” was even more remarkable.  One of the biggest questions plaguing the television host was, “How long does one have to stay at a holiday party if one has several parties on the same night?”  The “expert” was not surprised by this COMMON dilemma during the holidays.  He assured her that she needed to stay at each party long enough to have an in-depth conversation with the party host AND with the party host’s best friend so as not to be the topic of ill-spoken gossip the next morning.

My opinion?  These people are stark-raving crazy.   Let’s throw a little down-home rural holiday advice on the table, shall we?  First of all, most Americans are NOT worried about their supply of hostess gifts.  They may be worried about how they’re gonna afford a bike for their 10-year-old, but they are NOT worried about how to order a $30 coffee cake on-line to give to someone they barely know who invited them to be with people they don’t even like.  Secondly, if they DID decide to give a coffee cake as a hostess gift, every rural Southern gal knows how to take a yellow cake mix (99 cents), cinnamon and brown sugar, and a Bundt cake pan and make a delicious cake for less than three dollars.  My word!  

In regard to holiday parties, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have three parties to go to in one night.  I don’t even have the $120 it would take to provide the appropriate gifts.  And I’m not one bit worried if someone and their best friend want to speak ill of me for not staying long enough.  My motto?  Stay long enough to eat several pieces of expensive coffee cake.  And if they talk about me the next morning because I brought a poinsettia dish towel as a gift, I can live with that.  Life is short.

 I feel so blessed to live in this beautiful part of the country.  Blessed with a life of simplicity and friendship.  This Christmas, I’m not stressing or worrying about my image.  I’m celebrating.   His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Contact Lisa at lisa@lisasmartt.com

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