Is your food real?

You know me. I like to stay on top of the current cultural trends. I’m always up for the latest movie, the latest hairstyle or decorating trend, and even the latest nutritional hype.
OK. Not really. In fact, I’m about as far from trendy as you can be without being all the way around the circle and back at trendy again. I wear earrings I’ve had for 20 years. I recently saw a movie for the first time ... a movie that was released in the late ’90s.
When my husband and I die and the boys take the pictures off the walls in our home, there will be these big rectangular faded spots because the pictures will have hung there in that exact spot for ... well, as long as from now until my death. And I can’t predict when that will occur. But I can tell you this, when it does occur no one will get up at my funeral and say, “Lisa was a trendsetter.” I just hope one of my future daughters-in-law will have the good sense to buy me something trendy to be buried in because the poor girl will find nothing decent in my closet. I might even leave a note in my closet that says, “Don’t laugh. Just remember how much fun I was at Thanksgiving.”
But nothing is more trendy right now than food talk. I’m sure no one of my granny’s generation would have believed that someday there’d be a whole television channel designed to do nothing other than talk about food, cook food and dance with food.  Well, maybe not dance with food. But be on the lookout. “Dancing With a Gluten-free Cupcake” could be the next big thing.
The biggest trendy food question people are asking right now? That’s easy. Is your food real? Is my food real? Uh, yeah. It’s real. When I eat Captain Crunch®, it makes a crunching noise that lets me know it’s real. But, no. The trendy food police would be quick to say, “Captain Crunch is not real food.” A banana is real. A piece of homemade wheat bread is real. But little pellets of yellow-dyed crunchy awesomeness dipped in sugar and preservatives? Nope! Not real.
If I want to know if a food is real or not, I ask this question. Do I find myself wanting to eat this food after 10 at night? If I do, it’s not real. Doritos®, Pop-tarts®, white tortillas, Little Debbies®, Ritz® crackers and Fruit Loops® are not real. They are a figment of the imagination. Kiwi, broccoli, fruit juice smoothies made with honey and sugar-free yogurt, prunes and mini-carrots are members of the real food camp. But no matter how loudly you proclaim that mini-carrots dipped in low-calorie, low-sodium, no-sugar dressing are just delicious, it’s a hard sell, friend. Go ahead. Try having a block party centered around carrots and low-cal dips and see how many neighbors come. Just remember, I warned you. On the other hand, what would happen at a block party that touts the virtues of homemade ice cream made with chopped up Reese’s® peanut butter cups? Precisely.
I want to be trendy. I really do. But it’s not always easy. Thankfully, I live in northwest Tennessee and this is “festival season.” Real music. Real community. Real fun. What’s that? Is a funnel cake real food? Well, of course!
For more information about Lisa Smartt, visit her website, lisasmartt.com.

Published in The Messenger 9.7.11

Print