Posted: Thursday, June 14, 2012 8:00 pm
Dear Annie: I’m 16 years old and deeply worried about my mother. I believe she has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that’s getting worse. She constantly stresses about every little thing. I can’t remember the last time I saw her totally relaxed.
Mom once had a panic attack so severe that she strained several muscles, causing intense pain for weeks. She knows that her anxiety is unhealthy. Several years ago, she mentioned it to her doctor, but was told that she did not require any treatment. Mom is stubborn, so despite the fact that she is getting worse, she will not ask for help again.
Annie, is there anything I can do? I hate seeing my mom in pain. — Michigan
Dear Michigan: Is your dad in the picture? What about grandparents, aunts or uncles? You shouldn’t have to shoulder this on your own. Please talk to your mother and let her know how worried you are. It would help to have another trusted adult speak to her, as well. Encourage her to contact the Anxiety and Depression Association of America at adaa.org for information. In the meantime, see if you can get her to participate in some simple exercise program with you — perhaps a walk after dinner or a weekend bike ride. Exercise can help relieve some symptoms of anxiety.
Dear Annie: I’m getting married in two months. Yesterday, I received an invitation to my cousin’s bridal shower, which made me realize that none of my bridesmaids has bothered to ask if I would like one.
My maid of honor lives 16 hours away and is planning my bachelorette party. She can only make the trip for the weekend of the wedding. However, I have three other bridesmaids who live nearby. For one of them, I was the maid of honor and planned a shower. I am now left to purchase my own honeymoon lingerie and feel I am missing out on another celebration of this big step in my life.
I know it is rude to ask for a shower, and bringing up my disappointment will just cause unneeded drama. What can I do? — Disappointed in Mexico, Mo.
Dear Missouri: The point of a shower is to help a bride furnish her new home, and with so many couples living together before marriage, the events have become more inventive, but less necessary. As the bride, it is OK to ask your bridesmaids whether there will be a lingerie shower, so you can plan accordingly, but you may not demand that they have one.
Dear Annie: “Concerned Parents” are worried that their 42-year-old divorced daughter got back together with her violent boyfriend. He threw bricks through her window and punched her in the eye because he found out she got drunk and slept with another man. The boyfriend has now joined AA and is getting anger management counseling.
I agree with your response. But why didn’t you also suggest that the daughter join AA for getting drunk and jumping in the sack with another man? How understanding do you think men are? I would advise men to stay away from this drunken nymphomaniac. — O.B.
Dear O.B.: “Drunken nymphomaniac” is a bit of an overstatement. For all we know, this is the first and only time she has done such a thing, and while she is clearly in the wrong for cheating, it does not justify her boyfriend’s violent reaction. However, if the parents notice that this is a pattern for their daughter, you are absolutely right that she should seek help.
Dear Readers: Today is Flag Day and the 33rd Annual Pause for the Pledge of Allegiance at 7 p.m. (Eastern time). For more information, log on to americanflagfoundation.org.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger 6.14.12