Posted: Friday, September 21, 2012 8:01 pm
Dear Annie: My wife, my granddaughter and I recently took a six-hour flight home. I thought we’d have the middle section to ourselves, but when we boarded, I noticed there were four seats. As I put our carry-on luggage into the overhead bin, I saw my wife plop herself next to a male passenger.
Whenever I fly with my wife, she always says she needs to sleep and doesn’t want to talk. But on this flight, she started a conversation with this man and never once looked in my direction. When snacks were served, my wife handed one to the guy, but paid no attention to our granddaughter or me. Then, when I pulled out the breakfast sandwiches I had purchased earlier, she gave hers to the male passenger.
I was furious. She chatted with this guy for the entire flight. The only time she spoke to me was when she needed me to move in order to use the restroom.
When we got home, I questioned her about this. She didn’t like my attitude and said that next time she’d sit next to a stranger on the plane instead of me. She even admitted that she knew I was angry during the flight. But she never answered my original question, which is why she was so eager to converse with this fellow when she always tells me she prefers to sleep on long flights.
I think she was enjoying flirting. What should I do? I need some peace of mind. — Mahalo in Hawaii
Dear Hawaii: Even if your wife was flirting with this guy, please don’t turn it into such a big deal. It’s not like they exchanged phone numbers. She may have been equally talkative with a female passenger. And for all you know, the guy found her annoying and hoped she’d be quiet so he could get some rest. It was rude for her to ignore you and focus her attention elsewhere, especially knowing that it upset you. But your reaction is only fueling the fire. Unless she makes a habit of flirting with other men, let it go.
Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl. There are some guys I’d like to disassociate from. These guys say sexual comments that make me uncomfortable. They have even run by and grabbed me. They don’t do this when my boyfriend is around. He’s had a few choice words with them, but they refuse to back off.
I cannot avoid them, because we live in the same town and I see them at horse sales and truck pulls. I have deleted and blocked them from Facebook, but every time I log on, I see a notification saying they have accepted my friend request when I never sent one. These guys scare me.
I have known these guys for four years, and it was never like this until recently. I have started being rude to them and ignoring them if they talk to me. I’m normally a friendly person, and I don’t like behaving this way, but I can’t take it anymore. — Stressed in N.C.
Dear Stressed: These young men are harassing and bullying you. If you are scared, it’s time to take action. Inform your parents and the school of the harassment. Then consider taking out a restraining order. They need to know you mean business.
Dear Annie: “Exiled” said she lives out of state, but when she visits her folks, they always have other plans.
My sister may have felt the same way. We would plan to do things with our parents, and she would call or just show up saying she wanted to come, too. Of course, we would try to accommodate her, but she also expected us to pay.
I’d suggest that “Exiled” make the effort to arrange an occasional family outing. She should also make sure she is dressed appropriately. Family members get tired of making excuses for someone who is dressed sloppily and, at the end of the night, doesn’t have the money to pay her share. — Harrods Creek, Ky.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger 9.21.12