Annie 4.4.08

Dear Annie: My husband, “Sal,” and I will be spending a romantic weekend away next month without the children. Yesterday, a package arrived for me. Sal had bought me an outfit for the occasion — a short black leather skirt, fishnet stockings, knee-high black leather boots, a chain belt and a red silky blouse. Sal is a very visual guy, and I know he likes seeing me wear provocative clothing. But, Annie, I’m 45 years old and retired my short skirts years ago.
I showed a close friend the outfit, and she thinks I should loosen up a little and wear it out to a club. Part of me secretly wants to do this as I’m getting older and won’t have too many more opportunities. However, I worry I will run into someone I know, although that possibility is minimal.
Should I take a chance and wear the outfit somewhere or just put it on in the privacy of our hotel room? I’m taking your advice, as you always seem to have an excellent approach to most issues. — No State Sue
Dear No State Sue: We are usually in favor of accommodating a spouse’s fantasy, as long as no one gets hurt. If your sole objection is the slight chance that someone might recognize you, consider wearing a wig to complete the fantasy. (Sal would probably love it.) Or take along a trench coat to cover up. However, if you would be too inhibited to enjoy yourself, save the outfit for your hotel room. It won’t be any fun if you keep hiding behind the potted plants.
Dear Annie: Exactly one year ago, a friend asked to borrow a substantial amount of money, stating she would pay back the loan. I have yet to receive one cent. How do I approach her about the money she owes me without hurting her feelings? What do I say? — No Name, No City
Dear No Name: Say, “Doris, I know you’ve been trying to pay back the money you borrowed last year, but such a large sum can be overwhelming. I’ve made up a payment schedule so it won’t be too hard for you.” Then hand her a sheet of paper with small monthly amounts written on it and the date they are due. Remind her, nicely, when she’s late. If she is honorable, this won’t bother her, although she may be embarrassed that she’s been so lax. If she isn’t honorable, she’ll be offended that you expect repayment at all. In which case, we hope you don’t need the money because you’ll have a hard time getting it out of her.
Dear Annie: Forty lashes with a wet noodle for your advice about one sibling who inherits while the rest of her siblings are left out.
When a person makes out a will, it reflects his or her wishes. Those wishes cost them money to memorialize in a will, and it’s important they be carried out. To give the money to others is a dishonor to the deceased.
People who don’t learn the lesson that “you reap what you sow” are in danger of repeating their mistakes. No one is entitled to anything from the estate of another.
To ask the recipient to share is unfair to the person who earned the respect of the deceased. It also teaches the selfish siblings it’s not their fault.
People need to stop looking for remedies and realize that in life, as in death, there are consequences for their behavior. — Not Sharing in My Town
Dear Not Sharing: We completely agree that no one has to share an inheritance, and those who don’t deserve one shouldn’t feel entitled to receive one.
This is all beside the point. If you receive $100,000 because Grandma liked you best, but it taints your relationship with your sister, it seems worth it to share. Grandma won’t know the difference, but you will.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger 4.4.08

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