If you’ve got it...
By Lisa Smartt
Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2011 8:02 pm
This is the last week I’ll be addressing reader questions for a while. I may use this format occasionally in the new year so I still welcome your questions.
I work as a cashier at a local discount mega-mart. I am amazed and distressed at the amount of exposed bosom I see coming through my check-out line. Professionally dressed women in tight, low-cut blouses, teenage girls wearing little more than their underwear, sloppy women in tiny camisoles that strain under the weight of their chests. Is there a way to gently but effectively communicate, “Whoa! You’re flashing way too much flesh!”?
Sign me — Tired of Too Much TaTa
Dear Tired of... Uh, Over-exposure,
There’s an old saying, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” But no one ever explains the downside of flaunting. Allow me to share an example. Let’s say I sit next to a young woman on an airplane and warmly say, “Hi! My name is Lisa.”
The woman says, “My name is Jenny and I’m a rocket scientist. My PhD is from Vanderbilt. My husband was on the cover of GQ in 1986. My three kids make straight A’s and I’m training to run the Boston Marathon.”
OK. Every bit of that may be true. She’s got it. She flaunted it. The PhD. The smart kids. The runner’s legs. The formerly hot tamale husband. The whole enchilada. But when she flaunts it ... well, when she flaunts it, it all becomes less than it is. Kind of pitiful really. It makes me question her credentials. It makes me feel sorry for her. She had to lead with a long line of accomplishments to prove to me that she’s valuable. But it didn’t work. I realize that deep-down, she still questions her own value. It’s obvious.
In my humble estimation, that’s the bottom line to the lack of modesty in our culture. Questioning one’s value. Some women don’t understand how valuable they are to their Creator. They believe they have to lead with their “up top assets.” Sadly, it backfires. Sure, they’ll gain the attention of men but ironically it’s never the men they really want. It’s never Mr. Darcy from “Pride and Prejudice.” No, Mr. Darcy sees that the immodest woman is advertising insecurity. He understands that insecurity in a woman is a dangerous thing. So the good men steer clear of her and the rotten men step forward to “help” the flaunting woman with her insecurities. But it never works. A tragic scenario every time.
I wish I knew something you could do to help these women as they come through your check-out line. One thing I would suggest is to continue being kind and gracious. Be an example of a better way. Pray for opportunity to point them toward a higher truth.
Women, cover up. If it’s too tight, don’t wear it. Stop leading with your body. You’re better than that. May I have a word with the fathers of teenage girls? Man up. Set a standard for your daughter. And, if she slams a door when you tell her she can’t wear that skirt because it’s too short or that shirt because it’s too tight, that’s fine. Trust me. A slammed door is far better than the alternative.
For more information about Lisa Smartt, visit her website, lisasmartt.com.
Published in The Messenger 11.16.11